Chris: You guys have to stop making me laugh. I'm losing crucial beer.

Matt (to Corbet): And you… Are disguised as a bush.
Corbet: I'm what?
Matt (to Sean): And you don't even see her as you walk by.
Sean: I don't pee on her bush - wait, that sounds totally wrong. Strike that comment from the record!

Matt: And in front of the library is the world's saddest-looking concrete lion ever. Someone bought it from a lawn furniture place about ten years ago, on sale, and it hasn't weathered very well.
Chris: Jesus fuck! Why I haven't I gotten rid of that thing yet?
Matt: Because you're not telekinetic yet, and it's heavy.

Matt (to Arnon): There's a rough hand-drawn map, with various features labelled, like “fucking big trees”…
A: Oh yeah, I know the FBT.
M: And the headline is “Fucking awesome party”.
A: Turn left at the FBT for the FAP! So I sent back a message saying “All right! Ready to FAP!”
(Everyone cracks up laughing.)
Matt: Teenage boys are in the house!

Corbet: And from what I've heard, you probably can't remember.
Sean: You'd be surprised what I can remember.
Corbet: Well, what do you remember about a glowing blue light, and the fact that apparently now you can't die?
Sean: That there was a glowing blue light, and then I couldn't die.
Corbet: From what direction? You were in the army - come on, focus!
Sean: Up?
Cornet: For fuck's sake! They gave you weapons?
Sean: Not for long…

John: As a drunken hobo, I don't often have to jump on grenades.

Matt (to Sylvie, who is trying to stop a fight): You roll Command plus… Waitress.

Lynna (OOC, to Arnon/Michel): If you're masturbating at Mach 2, you are so going to have friction burns.

Matt: None of the cats are glowing at this time.